Parkinson’s? What I wanted to hear was “It was a mix-up”
This was written in 2015
This sums up the day...
What I wanted to hear was “Jeff doesn’t have Parkinson’s, it was a mixup. Throw away the pills and don’t bother calling us ever again.” What I wanted to hear was,
🎶”You’ve got two tickets to Paradise. Pack your bags, you leave tonite!”🎶
Instead, what I HEARD (though not necessarily exactly what was SAID) was, “ There are many resources to help you navigate through this disease process. Resources to help you care for your husband as he deteriorates and loses himself...”
It was an appointment filled to overflowing with information, books & pamphlets about this disease called Parkinson’s and resources to help us navigate through it. More coming in the mail. Videos to watch. People to listen to that are in various stages of this disease that robs them of their options, choices and voice.
I sat back and watched Jeff navigate this meeting with the Nurse, and then the Doctor. I didn’t help him. I sat quietly so they could assess his strengths, weaknesses and challenges. I cried hearing My beast of a husband struggling to answer questions, loosing his voice over and over. Watching him try to hide his tremors.. not so well. I cried watching the keen eye of his doctor assessing. But I was so proud of Jeff for facing the challenge like the champion he is.
This process is going to be an intentional one.
As with all obstacles in life, we are totally dependent on the Everlasting, Abundant, Loving Grace and Wisdom of Yeshua. Every step leads us through the Romans 8:28 roadway. Never alone. Always embraced by His Love.
In the natural, it seems very overwhelming, like I am juggling a lot of balls- (balls which have spikes and shooting fire coming out of them) and juggling NOT being one of my super powers. In the natural I feel the walls crashing in and I am overwhelmed.
A part of me feels like I will be crushed under this weight. Secondary progressive MS, (with all the additional ails that are attached) and now progressing Parkinson’s.
However, In my spirit, I keep hearing
🎶The joy of the LORD is my strength!🎶
So I choose to sing. Even if my voice shakes, and even if my eyes are filled with salty, stinging tears.
I can hear the song of heaven singing with me. My strength is returning. My resolve is set. My feet are planted. I’m not alone. And My God cares about me and about the destiny of my husband even more than I do.
HE IS MY PORTION.
Grateful for family & friends. You are all more strength and support than you could possibly know. This is not a journey we can or want to walk alone. Thank you for joining in.